Money, money, money. Granted, it’s not the most exciting or romantic thing to broach on a date with your partner – but it’s an essential chat to have, especially if you’re in a committed or long-term relationship. Research has pointed to money as a leading cause of stress in a relationship, and among the top reasons why couples argue and, in many cases, divorce.

Yet, many couples still shy away from talking about finances.

When it comes to love, we seek out compatibility in our interests, personalities – even Zodiac signs! But financial compatibility is something we tend to overlook. Perhaps it’s because talking about money feels unnatural, or that we’re conditioned to view it as a conversational taboo. Some of us may even hesitate bringing it up to our partners out of fear of a negative reaction.

Much like communication and honesty are essential building blocks to a healthy relationship, financial compatibility and – dare we say – intimacy is an equally important ingredient. In fact, we’d wager that having frank conversations about money can bring you closer as a couple.  Studies have revealed that couples who manage their finances together are more likely to say they’re in a happy, stable partnership.

So where do you start, and how on earth do you talk about money with your significant other?

Introducing “money dates”: What are they?

To put it simply, money dates are a scheduled date night where you and your partner can talk about your finances in a way that’s comfortable and non-confrontational.

These dates can occur weekly, bi-weekly or monthly, and can either dive into specific financial commitments (like an upcoming mortgage or an unexpected medical bill) or more high-level (your long-term financial goals or individual relationships with money). Rather than having a spur-of-the-moment chat when you’re faced with a crisis (we know how emotional these chats can get), a planned money date is more intentional and allows you to mentally prepare for the conversation.

Start with the big picture

Ideally, your first money date should be a bigger picture conversation about your goals, values and priorities. Talk to your partner about the life you want to build together and how you can get there financially. This sets the groundwork for future conversations. As you and your partner have more money dates, you can go into the specifics – like, are your current household expenses higher than your joint income? Or are you looking to start saving for your child’s university fund and want to plan for that?

Do the groundwork

If you haven’t already, make sure you cover all the basics – like your personal savings, investments, CPF, debt, insurance or retirement plans. This helps you get clarity on each other’s financial health and form a good foundation on how you can work towards a common financial goal as a couple.

Choose the right time

Granted, the money chat is not something you want to have on the first date. When you feel your relationship is getting more serious, it’s time to ease into the topic of money. Talking about your financial expectations early on, as opposed to waiting on when a crisis arises, is helpful.

Make it comfortable and fun

Because the premise of a money date is to create a relaxed and non-judgemental space for you and your partner to dive into your finances, there’s no harm in making it a little fun. Chat over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, and have it at home or on a stroll in your favourite neighbourhood park. The idea is to keep an environment conducive enough to have you both open up about your money and goals.

If your first money date feels a little uncomfortable or new, fret not. The idea is to get you and your partner comfortable in the habit of talking about money. Before you know it, having conversations about partner about your personal finances will become second nature and a regular part of your routine.

At Tiq, we’re always looking for ways to help you be prepared for life’s surprises and inevitabilities, while empowering you to “Live Unlimited” and take control of your tomorrow. In our effort to do that, we have partnered with Autumn, a digital wealth, health and lifestyle solution.

This article is contributed by Autumn and first appeared here. All information is correct as at the date of publication on 11 November 2021. For more information, please visit Autumn.sg.

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